Contentment

Our long winter seems to be finally ending with quite a bang as we've had a few days near 90F. The plants around us are taking advantage and blooming with a swiftness that  makes it hard to remember that we were bundled up with winter jackets just a week prior and still seeing only gray and brown.

And as if to remind us that summer will be fast approaching, leaving a very short spring here in Michigan, we're already experiencing a thunderstorm with warm humidity and the chorus of peepers nearly drowning out the distant rumbles.

I'm writing this from my spot by my book nook window. I've got a view west, where all our storms come from and I've been watching the giant clouds of lightning slowly pass to the south of us. Our direct storms aren't forecast for another hour but I've enjoyed the show so far. I have other things I want to be doing, like continuing catching up on a new podcast (Critical Role Vox Machina) or some sewing.

But I've got a sick 2 year old who went to bed not long ago and I'm worried that I'll miss her cries. Even not feeling well she is spunky and kind and very attached to her routine. We crawl into bed together and she gets a kiss from Daddy and then I get a kiss from Daddy. This must happen every time. And then the lights are turned out, the cats shoo'd from the room and she and I snuggle in together.

"Mamilk?" She pats my breast and always asks, even if she forgets the please more often than not. She always asks. And I consent and she makes happy little sounds as she latches. When she's sick, I am always grateful that she still nurses, both for the comfort and the immune boosts it can provide. It's my little trick of comfort I always have tucked away and when she stops nursing a part of me will miss the guaranteed calming it gives my kids.

She's got a grasp on math already because we cannot skip the other breast, by the way. She'll stop on my right and tell me she's "all done" and then take a drink of water. Then she'll pat the other side of my chest.

"Moy?" This time I make sure she uses please. Tonight I'm worried that despite the fluid intake she's getting is good, that it isn't going to stay down and I'll end up cleaning it up later. We've already prepped her bed for that eventuality.

But we keep nursing. I play sudoku on my phone while she squeezes me rhythmically. She's finished in not too long a time and rolls over with a quiet "ni night momma". There's no protest about bed. She's tired and ill and will welcome rest in those times. I want to stay with her all night but she'll get better sleep if I leave. I just really loathe leaving her to potentially get sick and not get to the bucket in time.

But maybe if she falls asleep quickly enough the nausea will remain at bay, so I leave her room, shutting the door as quietly as possible.

And now I'm sitting by the window of a dark house, breathing in the air that smells like rain is on the way, and watching the clouds be illuminated in infrequent flashes of light. It's a peaceful night and there's honestly nowhere else I'd rather be.

Marooned in South Carolina

Okay, so the title might be a bit dramatic, but it is somewhat accurate!

On New Year's Day we woke the kids up super early and headed to the airport for two quick flights to Myrtle Beach, SC. My parents have retired and purchased a house near, but not on, the beach just outside of Myrtle Beach. This was to be our holiday visit to them. As it so happens, we brought the ridiculously cold weather with us, though we avoided the terrible negative temperatures in Michigan.

It was supposed to be a fairly quick trip. Fly down on Monday, return Friday. With the storms all along the east coast, and a connection in Newark, NJ, we ended up not getting home until very late Tuesday, 4 days after our original return.  Third time was the charm, apparently, and all it took was a sacrifice of a water bottle to the Myrtle Beach Airport and the purchase of another carry on to hold all of our shit.

Ah, life with kids.

Despite all that, it was a nice trip to see my parents. I will agree with my husband though, from now on if we can't get a direct flight there and back, we're just going to drive.

Catch Up Thankfullness Day3 through 6

Day 3 - What are three things that make you happy in your life right now?

Thing versus people is hard to distinguish, but since I can do people with day 4, I'll stick to things. It's just weird to be this materialistic.  Though I suppose things could be generic and less about things I hold in my hand but rather things like a job. Anyway..

Gwyn is absolutely a thing that makes me happy in my life right now. She greets me every day, she pays attention when I come and go from home, she's always willing to offer a snuggle and a hug.

Even though I gripe and there's been drama, I am very happy to have my job. I love being a scientist. Love love love it. It brings me joy to puzzle things out where I can within the scope of my responsibilities. And even though the fact that I am taking on more roles is due to issues with coworkers, I am gleeful that it's experience I can use to leverage a better job.

Music. Music makes me happy in life. I've got a lot of music that is just what I need right now.


Day 4 - List 5 people you are grateful to have in your life right now. How can you show your appreciation to them?

1st Person: Eric, absolutely and hopefully forever. Sometimes I'm truly amazed at how long we've been together and how well we've built our lives together. There are things I know that I should work on personally that would be the best way to show how much I appreciate him. I know that the foundation of great relationships is good communication and when he helps me out, especially in things that let me go off and do things I enjoyed before kids, I always thank him. Always. And I try to encourage him to find similar things that he can do. He deserves it.

2nd Person:  Kaylee. She's my shining light of hope and curiousity. She has so many questions about the world and she wants to know everything. She is full of joy and energy and soaks in whatever knowledge Eric and I can impart to her. For her, my appreciation is shown by one on one time with her, reading books, just talking about the world. Play is central to how she learns so play I will.

3rd Person: Hazel. She is a spitfire. Her language mastery grows by leaps and bounds and she fit right into our little family like a puzzle piece I didn't know was missing. She loves animals, all animals but Gwyn especially. For her my appreciation is to continue to be the best mother I can be. To offer snuggles, to read to her, to take her out to the barn each day to do chores and let her dump all the grain together because even though she might spill a bit, she's learning and growing and I'm teaching her independence.

4th Person:  I'm gonna cheat here and say my online mom community that spun off of a reddit forum I was on for my first pregnancy. We all have kids around the same age and we really bonded with one another. We created a private facebook group and have been in each other's lives now for over 6 years. I can't imagine being a parent without them. We even have a little symbol, a paper airplane, to represent it all. I show my appreciation for them in little ways. Around the holidays we do a random act of christmas. Members who are struggling submit their needs and those of us who are more fortunate 'adopt' them and send gifts for Christmas. I'm planning to pick a member this year.

5th Person: The endurance community here in Michigan. They have been super welcoming to me and so very very friendly. I can show my appreciation for them by finally becoming a paying member next year, LOL.  But really, I also volunteer, because their events wouldn't run if they didn't have volunteers.

Day 5 - What was/ is the happiest time of your life (so far)? What made you so happy during that time?

There are four moments:
When I married Eric.
When Gwyn came off of the transport truck for the first time (and the second time too because boy did I miss her)
The first time I saw Kaylee and held her in my arms after her birth.
The first time I saw Hazel and held her in my arms.

For Kaylee and Hazel I thoroughly lay blame on oxytocin for that rush of love I felt. It was very very very overwhelming. I loved them instantly. I know it doesn't always happen that way, but it did for me.

I was really happy seeing Gwyn because it was a childhood dream come true. I was getting my first horse that mine, all mine, not borrowed or anything, and it was a horse I knew and had wanted. The second time she came off the truck was in Michigan and it was so happy then because I'd been separated by a whole country while I tried to organize shipping and finding a place to board after our move. I was sliding down toward depression without her and having her back where I could touch and just breathe in her smell was rejuvenating. Even Eric noticed an immediate change in my mental health and mood.

And of course, marriage. Eric is my best friend. We haven't run out of things to talk about yet and celebrating our marriage was so much fun and perfectly us. Nothing went wrong that day. Nothing.



Day 6 - Think of a difficult time in your life, and write the things that brought you happiness during that difficult time.

Well, our move to Michigan was rough. We made the decision to come for a lot of logical factors but completely forgot to discount the emotional. I was stuck in my mother in law's house with Kaylee, trying to keep her from breaking everything. It was March and winter dreary and we were on a very busy main road in front with a river in the backyard. We were in a part of the state that has nearly NOTHING to do for stay at home moms. And I didn't have Gwyn.

I started small. I got Kaylee enrolled in a montessori preschool and that freed up time for me to go look at boarding barns.  I started to coordinate transport of Gwyn from Washington to Michigan. I started working out while Kaylee was in school. Or I'd go to the marsh and go for walks. I tried to find the beauty in Michigan. This took significant effort on my part.

I decided to volunteer for an endurance ride in April. I dug the camping equipment out from all of our packed belongings that the movers brought and went off for a weekend alone, in mid April, with a bunch of other horse people. It was the perfect retreat. I was off in the woods, freezing my ass off at night in a tent, but having a brilliant time.

I returned home feeling so much better. Plus I had finally gotten a date from the shippers for getting Gwyn. The end was finally in sight. I made a lot of new friends that weekend that have lasted me through to even now.




Source

November Thankfulness

So here's the plan: I've got two sets of daily journaling prompts, one about thankfulness, one about horses. They'll be separate posts (and the horse one will be posted to my Gwyn Blog)

So let's jump in, happy NaNoWriMo to those who are participating!

Thankfulness

1: What do you want to do this month? Write your goals for the month, and think about what you need to do to accomplish them.

So my first goal is to do these journaling prompts every day in November. It will be self reflective time.
Second goal is riding once a week minimum. I'll be having a riding lesson next week so I'll have things to work on! This will be the hardest because it's now dark and cold when I have riding time (excepting weekends)
Exercise 4 days a week.
Go to a wildlife rehabbing seminar.
Make my Orange quarter sheet for safe riding during hunting season
Draft up a pattern to make a riding skirt for warm riding

It's a lot! It's ambitious.  To do this I'm going to need to rely on Eric a lot for support watching the girls. I should be able to ride on weekends, and maybe work on the sewing projects after the kids are in bed, which is also when the exercise will be happening.

I'll likely do the journaling either right before bed or during slow moments at work.

Happy Belated Birthday to Me!

Work has just been ridiculous lately. I've been effectively working full time hours to try and help the lab stay on track with all of the sample submissions since our supervisor left for a new job at the end of June. We FINALLY hired someone who started at the beginning of September to be our boss but training her has been a trick and a half.

Because this blog is public I really don't want to go into a lot of detail, but it is very frustrating on a professional level to have to train your boss in microbiological basics. And in Excel. And how to save. And the rules of how to name the files so everyone knows where and what everything is.

I've also been adding new skills to my repertoire including taking point on running a proficiency test that is required for the company to maintain certain certifications. We passed. Oh yeah, I'm amazing.

I started my October birthday month shenanigans on September 30 when I volunteered for the Metropark Express. Remember, going to ride in it, but I knew Gwyn and I would not be fit and that wasn't fair to either of us. So I volunteered to be the timer and that was plenty enjoyable! Not necessarily stress free, but it's a fun kind of stress when you're juggling riders coming in and riders going out. It's something I'm good at.

The start in the fog.

Kaylee and I decorated our mini pumpkins that we grew ourselves

On October 6 the Kindergarten and First grade classes all went to the zoo. I took the day off and chaperoned because why the fuck not? I was in charge of Kaylee and one other little girl from her class, A. We had a blast together.

On Saturday we finally relented and let Kaylee set up my old tent in the back yard. She was ADAMANT that she was going to sleep in it that night.

It provided great entertainment for both kids!

We went to the Enchanted Woodland at Seven Ponds Nature Center. In retrospect I picked too late of a time slot (reservation only) but both kids had fun, even if they were ready to crash by the end of the night.

Meeting the coyote

True to her word, Kaylee went to sleep in the tent all by herself. But then we had a tornado warning for the county and we grabbed her and brought her back inside for safety. She never woke up through the whole relocation. Thankfully she understood when she woke up in her bed the next morning and we explained what had happened.

That led to her saying we had a tomato warning. :'D

Hazel being mischevous at my work. I had to work both Saturday and Sunday. But I didn't let it stop me from my plans!

I wore Kaylee out.

I had the Hunter Pace on Sunday (I opted to skip the Hunter Trials on October 1st and go get hay instead since my wasp problem was finally cleaned out).  This upcoming weekend I'm going camping with Gwyn. I'll ride unoffically and volunteer for the endurance ride. I can't wait!

Florida and Disney - Image Heavy

My parents have a timeshare in the Orlando area and this year I opted to join them in Florida with the girls. Kaylee is coming into the perfect age for Disney and for her fifth birthday we splurged on a VERY nice Princess Dinner at Cinderella's Castle on the Magic Kingdom property. It was a big splurge and I didn't do much for her birthday gifts as that was the big thing. It was worth it, IMO.

Kaylee is 5!

A happiest birthday to my adventurous princess doctor astronaut paleontologist. May her curiousity and drive to discover never wane.

She is an absolute shining star in my life and I love her to bits, even during the challenging moments. It's hard to imagine life without her now.

When she gets upset with us, she's ready to go live on her own, or so she tells me quite forcefully.

She loves her dresses and will do anything in them. She has 'dancing shoes' as well, though right now I think they're sitting in the sandbox serving as sand buckets...

She's always been fascinated by nature but our house now has only fostered that more. She's not scared by most things. She wants to touch them and she respects the animals we live with, like our resident snakes, frogs and birds. 

She's a free spirit to be sure, and will watch Transformers while dressed as a Princess. She has little use for stereotypes.

We let her stay up to watch fireworks on Saturday. Our neighbor puts on a show every year and our deck is prime viewing. 

She's a good big sister.

Until she isn't.  😅😄😄😄 In this case, she had been pulling Hazel in the dump truck... then dumped her sister out. 

We'll have her party on Saturday, but today we celebrated with just the four of us. Balloons and a mini cake and card for her. 

So tiny. Much squish.

Happy Day of Your Birth, precious one. Take over the world.

Kid Pic Spam plus other stuff

An addendum to my previous post about Thinx, I'm also planning to try sea sponge tampons to see if they're more comfortable for riding (and pair with the thinx)  compared to my cup or disposable tampons.  The sponges are reusable for 3-6 months so you're still spending less and the product is somewhat renewable.

Anyway, I'll have the sponges in time for my next cycle, so I'll update then with how it all goes.


Hazel is making significant developmental progress. She can now easily crawl with her belly off the ground, is cruising around the house like a pro (when they walk but always hang on to stuff for balance) and has taken a single solo step on a few occassions.

She gets super  excited when she sees me pull out my carrier and loves being worn while I do stuff outside or go to the store. In general, she loves being the center of attention. Her favorite thing to say right now is Dada!  Which of course makes Eric very happy. I'm still getting her to work on Mama.

She loves Gwyn, Saffron and the cats and will screech excitedly/chase them.

She loves sitting in the high chair up above everyone. I think she likes watching them all.

Thinking about walking

We had a bout of sickness and she was diagnosed with RSV and had to have some breathing treatments. She's all better now though!

Sick baby passed out in the car. 

Using her toy to walk.

Two bottom teeth!

We did her 9 month photos a few days late.

Kaylee of course always wants to be in the pictures too.

Fun with colors at my job

The iridescent colors separate, it's really neat.

Kaylee insisted on riding in the snow.

Hazel is the center of attention while Kaylee is in gymnastics.

Kaylee is doing really well for her age group and she enjoys her once a week activity.

Eric is encumbered.

Side carred crib is also for cats!

A frequent sight.

Kisses for the kitty.

Sunrise on wednesday, my super busy day

I toured a school that I want Kaylee to attend for Kindergarten. It's a charter school that only accepts 40 students. Open enrollment ends Friday. This is the upper school (2nd through 8th grade)

Gym

Lower school (K-1)

Lower school recess. They are outside every day, regardless of weather.

Happy upside down baby.

Poking at Eric's moles.