St. Lucia Buns

My main cultural heritage is Swedish. My mom's side of the family are somewhat recent immigrants (my great grandparents immigrated from Sweden) and I know we are still in contact with others in the family who stayed in Sweden. One thing I've been trying to do is recapture that side of my heritage to share with the girls.

A big celebration at midwinter is the St. Lucia's Day or the Feast of St. Lucia. It's like a pagan/christian combo holiday like most at midwinter and is usually celebrated on December 13. It used to be celebrated on the winter solstice but got moved and coopted once Christianity came to town. Now it's part of Advent and the celebration of light.

The girls are still too young to dress in a white gown and wear a wreath with candles on their heads, so this year is us just dipping our toes into celebrating it. But as I was charged with bringing desserts for Christmas Day with the family, I decided to make the saffron sweet bread that is typically eaten at that feast!

I used this recipe from the NYT.  St. Lucia Buns It was fairly easy for a beginner to make, and I'm pretty sure they came out good. The saffron is VERY strong, and you use a lot of it, which makes them fairly expensive to make. After grinding, 1g became my 3/4 of a teaspoon. It's a LOT of saffron threads. So heads up.

I took pictures as I made them today and you can follow along!  I'll recreate the recipe here on the blog if you can't access the NYT website for whatever reason.

Make sure you have everything plus your recipe!

INGREDIENTS

• 6 ounces butter, melted
• 2 ½ cups lukewarm milk
• ¾ teaspoon saffron
• 1 cup sugar
• 1.7 ounces fresh yeast
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 2 pounds wheat flour, or as needed
•  Beaten egg, for brushing
•  Raisins, for garnish.

Me: NAILED IT

Me: MELT DAMN YOU

 Place the butter and milk in a medium bowl.

Amy's Tip of the Day: If your husband has not cleaned the mortar and pestle out after grinding up super spicy peppers, use some rice and just grind on that for a little while. The rice soaks up the capsaicin and coloring and you're left with a clean mortar and pestle!
Do not rub your eyes after trying to clean it the old way. Or your nose.

 Using a mortar and pestle, grind the saffron with a pinch of the sugar, and stir into the mixture

All those little flecks are the saffron.

This was my first time using fresh yeast in a brick. The package said it was good until Jan 2018 but man... I dunno. The microbiologist in me was skeptical. I mean, I know it's a yeast, but I saw some filamentous fungi on this stuff. Also, 1.7 oz is a LOT of yeast! It was almost this whole brick (2 oz)!!!  I was able to cut out the stuff I thought was bad/discolored to pare down to 1.7, so that worked out okay. 

 In a large bowl, dissolve the yeast in a little of the lukewarm butter mixture, then add the remaining butter mixture, the remaining sugar and the salt.

Me: DISSOLVE, DAMN YOU

Let 5 year olds help where possible for best memory making.

Nailed it again. 2lb of flour

Yes, those eggs are out on the countertop. They are straight from a chicken's cloaca though, so they're shelf stable so long as they're not cracked. #themoreyouknow #besteggsever

 Gradually add enough of the flour (almost all of it) to make a workable dough, kneading for 10 minutes by hand or 5 minutes in a mixer with a dough hook. 

Dough hook it is. Best. Wedding Present. Ever.

 Shape into a ball, sprinkle with a little flour and cover with a cloth. Allow to rise in a warm spot for 30 to 45 minutes.

Photo credit to the hoosband.

 Transfer the dough to a floured work surface, and knead in additional flour if the dough is sticky. Shape as desired into buns, braids or lengths.

Star Wars Cheezits definitely necessary for this recipe to work well. Also, those silicone baking mats are the fucking bomb. Highly recommend. Merry Early Christmas to meeeeeee.

 Place on lined baking sheets, and allow to rise again for 30 to 45 minutes. Preheat the oven to 400F.

My dough shaping was not on point at first.

Hoosband takes silly photos of the scientist/baker/mom extraordinaire.

 Brush the buns with beaten egg, and press raisins lightly into the dough.

Much more on point dough shapes. The bottom row were made by Kaylee. <3 

12 minutes was about the magic number for the sizes I made. Super quick to bake. All the time is spent in prep, really.

 Bake until golden and risen, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a bun comes out dry. Smaller buns may take 8 to 10 minutes; larger lengths and braids, 15 to 20 minutes.

Things I will try next time:

• A recipe that uses less saffron
• smaller bits of dough for finer looking final products
• warming up the milk a bit more before adding the melted butter, it immediately separated and solidified and I ended up nuking it a touch to get it liquid
• Buy saffron well before christmas eve, LOL, and not try to look for it at my super limited grocery store
• more raisins, omnomnomnom

Health Updates

Content: Menstruation, cup, doctors visits, IBS. THIS WILL BE BLUNT.

Last month I went to a scheduled doctor appointment to discuss updates about my PCOS and IBS. I had mentioned in my intake that I was using adult diapers as a good way to keep my clothes from getting messed up on the heaviest days of my period.

The NP, when she heard, told me that that WASN'T right, especially if I was on metformin which should reduce period severity due to PCOS. I got an order for a GYN and an ultrasound immediately. She asked a couple other questions about the severity of cramps (it takes about 800 mg of ibuprofen or naproxen to cut through), the size of clots (dime size? No... quarter) and length of period (7+ days, at least 3 are heavy enough to bleed through overnight pads in 2 hours)

Last week I had my ultrasound. Pretty quick procedure, exterior with a full bladder and then an intravaginal one after I'd peed.  I got the basic results today from my doctor. I have soft markers for endometriosis (suspected, given my symptoms) and will be seeing a gynecologist.

Uterine ablation was mentioned and I'm interested to see where this all leads. I'm also interested to see what life might be like without having to go to ridiculous means to not bleed all over everything for a week.

It could be nice.


Given, also that I have a very heavy flow, menstrual cups haven't really been the magical cure-all they're sold as in the online community (not so much from the manufacturers). I can't go 12 hours wearing mine without leaking significantly. Like using a cotton ball to stopper up a dam's leak. Thought that analogy might be more apt for a tampon. I haven't bothered with a tampon in almost a decade. They were laughable, I needed a pad anyway, so what was the point?

Even with the cup I still needed backup.  Period panties were also laughable given that they're really only to protect against itty bitty leaks, not gushes of clots. I like them for my light days, or days where incontinence is worse (colds, coughs... etc, thank you pregnancy). Did you know that Thinx do eventually leak? I DO! The chinese knockoffs are a bit better imo, in both fit and coverage. 

Anyway, all of that to say, I got a new cup. It's apparently the largest on the market for volume so I'm hoping it will work a bit better for me. It's not nearly as stiff as my old Diva cup, but it is stiffer than my collapsible one from Intimina (which I cannot find, curse my children)

My period is in full swing now, so we'll see how this holds up. 

They have a couple different colors. I chose blue.

Brand info.

Comes with a little drawstring cotton bag.

A visit from friends

I debated whether to put this on my horse blog or here. But really it's about socializing and friends, and not me riding Gwyn specifically, so here it belongs.

L and her daughter E came over Sunday afternoon for some horsey fun. L has been itching for horse time and I am more than happy to share Gwyn. E is a couple months older than Kaylee and they get along for the most part once they both get over the initial shyness. They live more in metro Detroit proper, so it can be a bit of a hike to come out to our place.

A very pouty Hazel who did NOT want to switch where she was brushing Gwyn. Gwyn is being a Good Girl.

Saffron was jealous.

Hazel also brushed her own hair.

L showed everyone how to pick out hooves. Gwyn was, once again, A Very Good Girl.

Everyone had to take a turn picking out the hoof. Even Hazel.

I had some sparkly garland that we fashioned into a 'bridle' since the girls weren't going to be off a leadline at all. They thought it was great.

"Okay Hazel, hug Kaylee and hang on!"  So Kaylee hugged Hazel back and I got this super sweet photo.

Saffron played with the other garland.

"I WANT TO GO OVER THE JUMPS TOO!"

Both of the older kids also wanted to 'go fast'  so we ran around and Gwyn was A Very Very Good Girl and had a nice trot. Though I find that kids seem to be able to sit very bouncy things well anyway.

Hazel was upset that everyone else was riding. So she got time by herself on Gwyn and I think really had a blast.

Thank goodness for L, because I would not do this with just me. There still needs to be a toddler handler to keep a hand on Hazel in case she gets off balance.

"No, actually, I don't want attention, human... Get it off. I take it back."

E leads Gwyn around. Gwyn was still a Good Girl.

Hazel was VERY upset that other people were riding "Her [My] Pony"

Day 7: Three things that could make me happier

Christ I thought this was about being thankful. This question really makes me feel greedy? Perspective wise I have a LOT in my life that's good. I feel bad thinking about what MORE I would want.

But it's the prompt, so bare with me.

1. A shorter commute. I spend a lot of time on the road every day commuting to work. Eric and I both. Even shaving 15-20 minutes off of the time would mean more time for the kids and better balance in fitting in exercise, family time, horse time and house cleaning.

2. More money from my job.   I get paid shit for my qualifications and compared to the state average for the job that I have. I'd need to have a 5$/hr raise to meet the AVERAGE salary at full time for a microbiologist in the state of Michigan. It would amount to a $10,000/yr raise.

3. More date time with Eric. Keeping our relationship strong as a couple and not just as parents is very important to me and we have few opportunities to do things like that.

Catch Up Thankfullness Day3 through 6

Day 3 - What are three things that make you happy in your life right now?

Thing versus people is hard to distinguish, but since I can do people with day 4, I'll stick to things. It's just weird to be this materialistic.  Though I suppose things could be generic and less about things I hold in my hand but rather things like a job. Anyway..

Gwyn is absolutely a thing that makes me happy in my life right now. She greets me every day, she pays attention when I come and go from home, she's always willing to offer a snuggle and a hug.

Even though I gripe and there's been drama, I am very happy to have my job. I love being a scientist. Love love love it. It brings me joy to puzzle things out where I can within the scope of my responsibilities. And even though the fact that I am taking on more roles is due to issues with coworkers, I am gleeful that it's experience I can use to leverage a better job.

Music. Music makes me happy in life. I've got a lot of music that is just what I need right now.


Day 4 - List 5 people you are grateful to have in your life right now. How can you show your appreciation to them?

1st Person: Eric, absolutely and hopefully forever. Sometimes I'm truly amazed at how long we've been together and how well we've built our lives together. There are things I know that I should work on personally that would be the best way to show how much I appreciate him. I know that the foundation of great relationships is good communication and when he helps me out, especially in things that let me go off and do things I enjoyed before kids, I always thank him. Always. And I try to encourage him to find similar things that he can do. He deserves it.

2nd Person:  Kaylee. She's my shining light of hope and curiousity. She has so many questions about the world and she wants to know everything. She is full of joy and energy and soaks in whatever knowledge Eric and I can impart to her. For her, my appreciation is shown by one on one time with her, reading books, just talking about the world. Play is central to how she learns so play I will.

3rd Person: Hazel. She is a spitfire. Her language mastery grows by leaps and bounds and she fit right into our little family like a puzzle piece I didn't know was missing. She loves animals, all animals but Gwyn especially. For her my appreciation is to continue to be the best mother I can be. To offer snuggles, to read to her, to take her out to the barn each day to do chores and let her dump all the grain together because even though she might spill a bit, she's learning and growing and I'm teaching her independence.

4th Person:  I'm gonna cheat here and say my online mom community that spun off of a reddit forum I was on for my first pregnancy. We all have kids around the same age and we really bonded with one another. We created a private facebook group and have been in each other's lives now for over 6 years. I can't imagine being a parent without them. We even have a little symbol, a paper airplane, to represent it all. I show my appreciation for them in little ways. Around the holidays we do a random act of christmas. Members who are struggling submit their needs and those of us who are more fortunate 'adopt' them and send gifts for Christmas. I'm planning to pick a member this year.

5th Person: The endurance community here in Michigan. They have been super welcoming to me and so very very friendly. I can show my appreciation for them by finally becoming a paying member next year, LOL.  But really, I also volunteer, because their events wouldn't run if they didn't have volunteers.

Day 5 - What was/ is the happiest time of your life (so far)? What made you so happy during that time?

There are four moments:
When I married Eric.
When Gwyn came off of the transport truck for the first time (and the second time too because boy did I miss her)
The first time I saw Kaylee and held her in my arms after her birth.
The first time I saw Hazel and held her in my arms.

For Kaylee and Hazel I thoroughly lay blame on oxytocin for that rush of love I felt. It was very very very overwhelming. I loved them instantly. I know it doesn't always happen that way, but it did for me.

I was really happy seeing Gwyn because it was a childhood dream come true. I was getting my first horse that mine, all mine, not borrowed or anything, and it was a horse I knew and had wanted. The second time she came off the truck was in Michigan and it was so happy then because I'd been separated by a whole country while I tried to organize shipping and finding a place to board after our move. I was sliding down toward depression without her and having her back where I could touch and just breathe in her smell was rejuvenating. Even Eric noticed an immediate change in my mental health and mood.

And of course, marriage. Eric is my best friend. We haven't run out of things to talk about yet and celebrating our marriage was so much fun and perfectly us. Nothing went wrong that day. Nothing.



Day 6 - Think of a difficult time in your life, and write the things that brought you happiness during that difficult time.

Well, our move to Michigan was rough. We made the decision to come for a lot of logical factors but completely forgot to discount the emotional. I was stuck in my mother in law's house with Kaylee, trying to keep her from breaking everything. It was March and winter dreary and we were on a very busy main road in front with a river in the backyard. We were in a part of the state that has nearly NOTHING to do for stay at home moms. And I didn't have Gwyn.

I started small. I got Kaylee enrolled in a montessori preschool and that freed up time for me to go look at boarding barns.  I started to coordinate transport of Gwyn from Washington to Michigan. I started working out while Kaylee was in school. Or I'd go to the marsh and go for walks. I tried to find the beauty in Michigan. This took significant effort on my part.

I decided to volunteer for an endurance ride in April. I dug the camping equipment out from all of our packed belongings that the movers brought and went off for a weekend alone, in mid April, with a bunch of other horse people. It was the perfect retreat. I was off in the woods, freezing my ass off at night in a tent, but having a brilliant time.

I returned home feeling so much better. Plus I had finally gotten a date from the shippers for getting Gwyn. The end was finally in sight. I made a lot of new friends that weekend that have lasted me through to even now.




Source

Day 2: Thankfullness (with some photots)

2: What are you excited about in the coming month?

Oh boy!

So, the biggest thing I'm excited about right now is my riding lesson next week. I'm hoping this trainer will be a good fit, though I'm less enthused at HOW MUCH I'd be paying for her to come to me versus me going to her given the distance that separates us. (Less than a mile)

I've also gotten permission to thin out some brush between my neighbor and the farm fields so I can get Gwyn back there for some winter riding.

I've also applied to a job at Pfizer Pharmaceuticals, which would give me a shorter drive to work and likely more money. The job I really wanted was already gone from the website, despite still being out on the webs. Ah well.

Our neighbors are having a belated Halloween Party on Saturday that I'm also excited for. They are good people.

And there's a seminar on becoming a wildlife rehabilitator that I'm planning to attend with the same neighbor. That's something I've always wanted to do and I'd like to know how feasible it would be and how much time and money commitment is necessary.

It's almost bedtime, but I'm also feeling really motivated to get my hunting season quarter sheet made up so we can safely ride in the chill. I'm also looking into making my own riding skirt for warmth and water protection. I just need the ride material and I think I'm going to need to order that online. I'm not sure if there's a specialty fabric store nearby that would carry it.

And so this isn't all words...

She insists on carrying Gwyn's feed pan 

I did a thing to my hair, this was a transition phase. 

Lanterns light the way at night

Sunsets are beautiful

The thing with the hair is better

Hazel gets a tiny curly pony tail

We all make silly faces

She wasn't actually grumpy, she was testing out her faces since she could see herself on the camera, lol

Kaylee draws EVERYWHERE, which is actually an improvement from when she refused to draw anything

Everywhere

Sunrise just hitting the tops of the trees

School Photo

Halloween Snow

"Wait a minute..."

He did not stay out long.

November Thankfulness

So here's the plan: I've got two sets of daily journaling prompts, one about thankfulness, one about horses. They'll be separate posts (and the horse one will be posted to my Gwyn Blog)

So let's jump in, happy NaNoWriMo to those who are participating!

Thankfulness

1: What do you want to do this month? Write your goals for the month, and think about what you need to do to accomplish them.

So my first goal is to do these journaling prompts every day in November. It will be self reflective time.
Second goal is riding once a week minimum. I'll be having a riding lesson next week so I'll have things to work on! This will be the hardest because it's now dark and cold when I have riding time (excepting weekends)
Exercise 4 days a week.
Go to a wildlife rehabbing seminar.
Make my Orange quarter sheet for safe riding during hunting season
Draft up a pattern to make a riding skirt for warm riding

It's a lot! It's ambitious.  To do this I'm going to need to rely on Eric a lot for support watching the girls. I should be able to ride on weekends, and maybe work on the sewing projects after the kids are in bed, which is also when the exercise will be happening.

I'll likely do the journaling either right before bed or during slow moments at work.