Day 7: Three things that could make me happier

Christ I thought this was about being thankful. This question really makes me feel greedy? Perspective wise I have a LOT in my life that's good. I feel bad thinking about what MORE I would want.

But it's the prompt, so bare with me.

1. A shorter commute. I spend a lot of time on the road every day commuting to work. Eric and I both. Even shaving 15-20 minutes off of the time would mean more time for the kids and better balance in fitting in exercise, family time, horse time and house cleaning.

2. More money from my job.   I get paid shit for my qualifications and compared to the state average for the job that I have. I'd need to have a 5$/hr raise to meet the AVERAGE salary at full time for a microbiologist in the state of Michigan. It would amount to a $10,000/yr raise.

3. More date time with Eric. Keeping our relationship strong as a couple and not just as parents is very important to me and we have few opportunities to do things like that.

Catch Up Thankfullness Day3 through 6

Day 3 - What are three things that make you happy in your life right now?

Thing versus people is hard to distinguish, but since I can do people with day 4, I'll stick to things. It's just weird to be this materialistic.  Though I suppose things could be generic and less about things I hold in my hand but rather things like a job. Anyway..

Gwyn is absolutely a thing that makes me happy in my life right now. She greets me every day, she pays attention when I come and go from home, she's always willing to offer a snuggle and a hug.

Even though I gripe and there's been drama, I am very happy to have my job. I love being a scientist. Love love love it. It brings me joy to puzzle things out where I can within the scope of my responsibilities. And even though the fact that I am taking on more roles is due to issues with coworkers, I am gleeful that it's experience I can use to leverage a better job.

Music. Music makes me happy in life. I've got a lot of music that is just what I need right now.


Day 4 - List 5 people you are grateful to have in your life right now. How can you show your appreciation to them?

1st Person: Eric, absolutely and hopefully forever. Sometimes I'm truly amazed at how long we've been together and how well we've built our lives together. There are things I know that I should work on personally that would be the best way to show how much I appreciate him. I know that the foundation of great relationships is good communication and when he helps me out, especially in things that let me go off and do things I enjoyed before kids, I always thank him. Always. And I try to encourage him to find similar things that he can do. He deserves it.

2nd Person:  Kaylee. She's my shining light of hope and curiousity. She has so many questions about the world and she wants to know everything. She is full of joy and energy and soaks in whatever knowledge Eric and I can impart to her. For her, my appreciation is shown by one on one time with her, reading books, just talking about the world. Play is central to how she learns so play I will.

3rd Person: Hazel. She is a spitfire. Her language mastery grows by leaps and bounds and she fit right into our little family like a puzzle piece I didn't know was missing. She loves animals, all animals but Gwyn especially. For her my appreciation is to continue to be the best mother I can be. To offer snuggles, to read to her, to take her out to the barn each day to do chores and let her dump all the grain together because even though she might spill a bit, she's learning and growing and I'm teaching her independence.

4th Person:  I'm gonna cheat here and say my online mom community that spun off of a reddit forum I was on for my first pregnancy. We all have kids around the same age and we really bonded with one another. We created a private facebook group and have been in each other's lives now for over 6 years. I can't imagine being a parent without them. We even have a little symbol, a paper airplane, to represent it all. I show my appreciation for them in little ways. Around the holidays we do a random act of christmas. Members who are struggling submit their needs and those of us who are more fortunate 'adopt' them and send gifts for Christmas. I'm planning to pick a member this year.

5th Person: The endurance community here in Michigan. They have been super welcoming to me and so very very friendly. I can show my appreciation for them by finally becoming a paying member next year, LOL.  But really, I also volunteer, because their events wouldn't run if they didn't have volunteers.

Day 5 - What was/ is the happiest time of your life (so far)? What made you so happy during that time?

There are four moments:
When I married Eric.
When Gwyn came off of the transport truck for the first time (and the second time too because boy did I miss her)
The first time I saw Kaylee and held her in my arms after her birth.
The first time I saw Hazel and held her in my arms.

For Kaylee and Hazel I thoroughly lay blame on oxytocin for that rush of love I felt. It was very very very overwhelming. I loved them instantly. I know it doesn't always happen that way, but it did for me.

I was really happy seeing Gwyn because it was a childhood dream come true. I was getting my first horse that mine, all mine, not borrowed or anything, and it was a horse I knew and had wanted. The second time she came off the truck was in Michigan and it was so happy then because I'd been separated by a whole country while I tried to organize shipping and finding a place to board after our move. I was sliding down toward depression without her and having her back where I could touch and just breathe in her smell was rejuvenating. Even Eric noticed an immediate change in my mental health and mood.

And of course, marriage. Eric is my best friend. We haven't run out of things to talk about yet and celebrating our marriage was so much fun and perfectly us. Nothing went wrong that day. Nothing.



Day 6 - Think of a difficult time in your life, and write the things that brought you happiness during that difficult time.

Well, our move to Michigan was rough. We made the decision to come for a lot of logical factors but completely forgot to discount the emotional. I was stuck in my mother in law's house with Kaylee, trying to keep her from breaking everything. It was March and winter dreary and we were on a very busy main road in front with a river in the backyard. We were in a part of the state that has nearly NOTHING to do for stay at home moms. And I didn't have Gwyn.

I started small. I got Kaylee enrolled in a montessori preschool and that freed up time for me to go look at boarding barns.  I started to coordinate transport of Gwyn from Washington to Michigan. I started working out while Kaylee was in school. Or I'd go to the marsh and go for walks. I tried to find the beauty in Michigan. This took significant effort on my part.

I decided to volunteer for an endurance ride in April. I dug the camping equipment out from all of our packed belongings that the movers brought and went off for a weekend alone, in mid April, with a bunch of other horse people. It was the perfect retreat. I was off in the woods, freezing my ass off at night in a tent, but having a brilliant time.

I returned home feeling so much better. Plus I had finally gotten a date from the shippers for getting Gwyn. The end was finally in sight. I made a lot of new friends that weekend that have lasted me through to even now.




Source

Information Accessibility

The seriousness of my health issues aside, I'm really loving how a lot of the health care systems are now using an online chart system to track patient care and as a patient, I have access to it. I feel empowered, reading my own test results. I loved looking back and reading the notes my midwife took throughout my labor with Kaylee and similarly, I like having the details, the down and dirty data. I think it's the scientist in me. I can accurately educate myself to a level of detail that a doctor might not delve into (even though I desire it, it's honestly my biggest gripe with standard medicine. This is why I loved my midwife in Washington, he would send me research articles and really get into the nitty gritty once he found out I had a science background. It made me feel like a valued and contributing member of my own healthcare, rather than a marginalized idiot)

Henry Ford Health Systems uses MyChart, which seems to be standard. I think I have a crazy number of accounts with them now from all of the different hospital systems I've been seen by (from back in Washington especially).  MyChart is why I chose to go to urgent care further from home when I had the cramp and it's why, when given the choice of ER, I chose to drive 40 minutes away. I had not heard good things about nearer hospitals and since my prenatal care was within Henry Ford, I found it prudent to have my whole health care team reading from the same page.

I checked  MyChart tonight and saw the results from Vascular Imaging (right above my negative Gonorrhea test, thankyouverymuch). My clot was found in the right peroneal vein, it was called a total occluding acute thrombosis. Very shallow google research informs me that this is a common spot to get a clot. Obesity and pregnancy are my only two risk factors. I'm around the same weight as my previous pregnancy (only 10 lb heavier, really) and didn't have an issue then. But I am thankful things were caught in time.

Interestingly, given my symptoms, I had low probability of my symptoms being a DVT (deep vein thrombosis). My only symptom was pain. I had no swelling or edema, recent long distance travel or immobility. Go figure. This low probability was why they chose to do the D-Dimer test first, rather than jump immediately to ultrasound.  (I found a professional grade Merck manual on the subject, it's been fascinating to read!)

Over the past week I had been breaking down over random things. But reading this very clinical report on what I've been diagnosed with and what the prognosis and expected risks and probabilities are, it's actually quite reassuring. Eric and I both agreed we wish we had this last week. It would have eased our minds significantly.

Now I can't wait for the results of my CT scan to be posted to my account so I can get more specifics on my PEs (pulmonary embolisms)

24 facts Meme!

If you would like to participate, comment and I'll give you a random number of facts that you then share! Dom gave me 24 :)

1. I wanted to be a scientist since middle school and was ready to specialize right then and there
2. My high school biology teacher nearly turned me off science forever if not for a special after school program I took in biomedical engineering which led to...
3. I attended the inaugral year of a 1/2 day magnet school that focused on math and science, GHAMAS (Greater Hartford Academy of Math and Science) but I was the second graduating class
4. I've performed ovariectomies on rats (at GHAMAS) 
5. I once stunk up the entire magnet school, both the math and science AND performing arts side in a reproductive biology project that went totally wrong when all our sea urchins died.
6. I took a snake over to the performing arts side specifically to scare all the arts majors
7. I hated Connecticut, where I grew up, and traveled the furthest out of my entire graduating class to go to college in Florida
8. I met Eric because I had just broken up with a boygirlfriend and was required to bring a date to my fledgling local sorority formal so we could meet the minimum head count for our banquet hall. He was the third person I asked.
9. I would trade manpower for help with my undergraduate research project with a crazy grad student named Matt.
10. Matt and I once canoed up a creek from the Indian River Lagoon, caught a baby alligator, kept it in a tackle box and then portaged the canoe from where it met campus a mile away to the fish biology building. I still made it to class on time, albeit covered in grime and muck.
11. I was on the crew team in college for one semester and dropped out due to the time commitment
12. I'm a certified SCUBA diver.
13. I spent 6 weeks in Australia and 3 days in New Zealand in the summer of 2005
14. I was a competitive viola player in high school in that I competed for spots on regional, statewide and New England youth orchestras and regularly was a part of them.
15. I can also passably play the violin, less passably the piano
16. I love to sing and went out of my way in high school to take both orchestra and chorus while also attending the magnet school
17. I have seen Phantom of the Opera off broadway 6 times
18. I worked at Sears to raise money to go to Australia.
19. On a whim I asked for a job when I toured the Space Life Sciences Lab at Kennedy Space Center while considering grad school options. Wayne said yes and I worked part time as a lab tech at KSC SLSL my last semester of college and then full time once summer started.
20. I hated living in Gainesville.
21. I loved the last place Eric and I lived in Florida, Port St. John, a 2 bedroom 1st floor condo right on the lagoon. I could wake up and see dolphins or an alligator swim by and we never needed to go anywhere for rocket and shuttle launches.
22. I prepped pieces of an experiment that flew on the International Space Station as part of a project with the European Space Agency.
23. NASA paid for me to go to Spain and attend a summer school in Astrobiology. I learned more spanish in the 2 weeks I was there than the semester I took in middle school.
24. After grad school I worked for a local zoo on a conservation project where I got to go to scrubland and identify Scrub Jays. I also cared for breeding population of beach mice and was watched by giraffes every time I clocked in.